The View Through my Lens: May 2009

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

What I heard on the train today

There were these two blokes talking about their "women" trouble. Apparently the first guys (we'll call him Sam) girl friend (will call her Jill) broke up with him and wont answer his calls. He apparently has been calling multiple times a day and can't understand why she would give him her cell phone number if she wasn't going to answer. After his repeated attempts Jill's mom called him and "beat him up", yes those were his exact words, by saying that he should stop calling. His mate (we'll call him Brad) then started going off about how Mom's and Mother in Laws always get in the way of your relationship with their girls and they need to be told to back off. Sam then stated how Jill was just confused and didn't know what she wanted and he was getting confused and that he and his cousin were going to go and talk to Jill's mom and tell her to back off. Brad then agreed and went off more about how you (as the man) need to gang up on (bring friends with you, other family members, ect.) the mother in laws because they are just too overprotective. I know that this was just one conversation, and that they were not necessarily well educated people, and you can make all the excuses you want, but the truth is that I've heard more conversations like that then I would like to admit. I watched a girl go into labor on the train pleading to the baby "just wait till 6:00 then daddy will be out of jail".

A week after the Rugby case, nothing was stated about it in the news. They also tried to quickly coverup that the coach of the same team punched a girl, but you know he is a good guy. This week there hasn't been anything said about that. The Chasers, a fake news comedy group, kinda made fun of it, but not very effectively and only for 30 seconds or so. One of my friends thinks that this has been good because people have now talked about it (homosexual and women's issues) more then they ever have in the past. He also mentioned repeatedly that in order for the sex acts to not have been consensual the women would have had to say no and even though she was too traumatized or only agreed to have sex with one, but them more kept coming, the fact that she didn't verbalize no according to those who were there, then the sex acts were consensual. My question then is if the rapist never hears you say no, you are deaf and can't say no, they inhibit you from saying no, they drug you so you don't know what is going on and can't say no, you are too drunk to be able to say no, this means that you have consented to having sex with whom ever walks by. Women of Australia need to speak up, and until they do, men will think this is okay.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A new note to the rugby league scandal.

Today more people are starting to speak out against these guys, but there is a very interesting tone in the article by Annabel Crabb. I thought I was agreeing with them until they started to "take out the girl" from the equation and tried to make it a homosexuality thing. They seem to gloss over the rape and the sex crime and focus on the idea that this is a homosexuality issue. This is insulting to both women and homosexuals. I don't understand what is going on here. Yesterday I got an e-mail from the Australian Women's Forum and I thought "great some one is going to speak out" but it was an e-mail asking for participation in a survey about how to balance life, work, and family. Not a single mention about this travesty. I feel like I'm walking through a nightmare. How can people a) be okay with what is going on or b) figure that it's too much to deal with so leave it for some one else to clean up.

More odds and ends

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

This is what Australian men think of women

Okay not all of them, but the fact of the matter is that the news casters are more outraged about the fact that Americans are allowed to own guns (they leave out that Australians are allowed to as well although they do have stricter rules) then they are about news articles like this.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/afp/article/ALeqM5iXzsQlYCxnxgIuTTDDfSzTGlnz6g

People hear stories like this one and then think "Ah well at least you don't have it as bad as those girls" but the thing is that both their story and mine are of men trying to demoralize women, and treat them as inferiors or even just objects. I am very thankful that I have never and hope to never have to go through an ordeal like the women in the story, but the message these men send is the same. It's okay to treat them this way.

The Rugby league has started forcing its players to go to classes on how to treat women. These players are all grown men, why didn't they learn these lessons that women are their equals before this, and what does that mean about the men who don't take their classes. Is it just assumed then that the boys growing up in Australia aren't taught how to treat women? A news reporter this morning asked one of the rugby league guys who just finished watching a video what he thought of how to treat girls. His response was that after they have sex with them (consensual or not) that they shouldn't just get them a cab and call them a cunt or a bitch on the way out, and that a lot of these court cases could have been avoided if they treated them better after the fact. The news reporter responded with "they still have a long way to go".

Never once in any of these stories have they used the word rape. Lets call it what it is people, it's not just sexual assault, it's not just bad behavior or lack of knowledge, this is rape. It's group rape, it rape, its rape. Calling it something else gives the impression that it's not as bad as these girls say, that they are just drama queens and trying to get attention by trying to kill themselves. Some have reported that the sex was consensual, while others say that it was the rugby players who claimed that and not the girls. We may never truly know, but if at any time she said stop or no, then even if it started out as a consensual act, it turned into rape. The fact that the one guy apologized afterwards makes me wonder if she tried to get out of it during the act, and the interview she gave the other night makes me certain of it.

The last couple of days one of the guys took his family to a resort to "heal their wounds". After reading this abc article and watching their report I just don't know what to think about him, about rugby league, or about Australians. I know that not all Australians view women in this respect, but the fact that so many have been so quiet about this, that so many have let this behavior go on for so long, that so many have figured that the players need time to heal their wounds, that this is just a fact of life, means that I have lost a lot of respect for the over arching Australian culture. Any more the phrase "no worries" means turn a blind eye, or to live in willful ignorance, then what I use to associate the saying with which was relax, everything will work it self out.

In a sketch during their show they even make fun of these types of allegations and incidences. They don't seem to understand the seriousness of these actions.